The Fever Broke

April 17, 2015

I don’t know how, but I came down with a pretty nasty fever earlier this week. Sunday afternoon I went to the park to exercise, and felt like walking death when I was finished. That feeling lingered for the rest of the day, and by the time I went to bed I was in pretty bad shape. I really would have preferred to simply be sick, but alas, I was plagued with splitting headaches and massive body pains for the next three days.

Fortunately I’m much better now, and with a clean bill of health come a desire to get some writing done. I’ve sat around for too long not doing anything, but unfortunately I’ve had that bad problem of no ideas.

Well, let’s back that up. I’ve got ideas. I’ve got plenty to write about!

-The Third Tower, which I’m halfway finished with (but currently taking a break from)

-No less than three short stories I was extremely excited about

-Five stories that can be edited/updated

And yet with all of this in front of me, I just…didn’t feel like it. Well, T3T is on hiatus because I don’t want to focus too much on that while I still have a massive, final edit for In the Pale Moonlight, but I’m thinking of hiring someone else to do that for me anyway.

But those other short stories…I was so excited when I came up with these ideas! So why don’t I feel like writing them now? Am I just not feeling it? Or am I disappointed with myself?

Ugh…I hate that feeling. As I usually do on weekends, I spent some time this past Sunday sending out stories for publication, and as per the usual, I received a rejected just yesterday. It was the frustrating kind, that quite literally said “We love this story! It’s awesome! We have nothing bad to say about it! But we’re still not paying you so go fuck yourself.”

Seriously, people? Just give me a form letter and move along. Save yourself the time of purposely looking like an asshole.

I get over those things quickly (I just get bothered that they would go the long way to kick dirt in my face, basically…it’s like, why bother?), but with so many rejections recently (I haven’t had a story accepted since December 26th!), I’m losing faith.

What can I do?
Well, I keep at it. I push through, I force myself to get to the point where everything will someday work itself out.

And that, if you were wondering, is why I’ve been conspicuously absent. Sick, working, or sick of working. But it all works out in the end, right?

It better, because I’m running out of time.


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