Expanding the Universe

May 22, 2017

Like many fine people on this varied planet of ours, I love Star Wars. In fact, being born in 1980, I’ve been a fan for pretty much my entire life. I got a little burned out in the mid-late 90’s, but things have redeemed themselves, and I’m happy with what’s available.

There are many games available, including a collectible card game from FFG—Star Wars Destiny. A great game! I love it and am always coming up with new decks and itching to play.

Also available? Stories. Right now, comic books are hot, and it’s good to see that the hobby and art form are doing so well. Marvel has a great series going with the Star Wars comics, and they’re telling stories for some of the best characters—a Lando Calrissian series is set to debut later this year, and there will be a Captain Phasma limited series as well. Poe Dameron, my personal favorite, has his own ongoing series too.

But they aren’t doing fiction like they used to. There is of course Star Wars Insider, and sure, there are novels coming out, and thankfully they aren’t going into the ridiculous areas that the old Expanded Universe book did in the 90’s. (It’s funny because I used to love those trilogies, but looking back now I can’t understand why I was so into them—they’re terrible!) One thing they used to have was the Star Wars Adventure Journal, a great inclusion in the meta.

Geared more towards the role-playing game by West End Games, it contained new campaign ideas and characters for the table-top game, but also had short fiction. One of my first attempts at getting published was with this book, released every few months like a magazine (but man, that thing was thicker than most novels!).

Some of the fiction was great. Stories of random characters not in the movies, people that did dirty work or had crazy things happen to them, all within the realms of Star Wars. In fact, Rogue One seemed like a story that could have come from there, whether or not it was so closely attached to the first movie.

The stories behind the stories.

Why aren’t they doing anything like this anymore? Or am I just missing it?

Not just because I want to write Star Wars stories (well, I could, but I don’t do fan fiction, and I’d love to have these get out there somehow), but I’d love to read some as well. Narrative vignettes of random people, somehow doing something involved in what you see in the movies, or a far-off backwater world with smugglers getting in a shoot-out with Stormtroopers…tons of things that could happen.

What do you say? Would anyone else want to see something like this? Do you know of something like this right now?

At the very least, maybe I could contact Disney/Lucasfilm themselves and start begging. We could even do a petition for it. I hope you’d sign in.

I’m serious.

Jade’s Last Stand

September 24, 2016

Hey! More FREE flash fiction, just for you, my lovely sexies! Hastily written with one goal in mind–to entertain–these short reads will give you something better to do than sitting around and complaining that there’s nothing to do! So enjoy, one and all. And remember, there’s plenty more to come.

This is a story about a man named Jade. He’s no Macgyver, certainly no Ted Cruz, but he is a person. Enjoy!

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Jade’s Last Stand

by Myke Edwards

The Gray fell to the floor, dead.

Jade looked down at the skinny, rubbery-looking alien and tossed his pistol aside.  It bounced when it landed on his tightly made bed.  The barrel smoked, but not as much as the hole in the alien’s massive head.

Approaching twenty-nine, he had been abducted twice as many times in half as many years.  He couldn’t even keep track of how many anal probes he had received.  Tubes up his urethra, spikes in every limb, hoses up his nose, down his throat, up his ass and everywhere in between.

He’d had enough of it.

Only once had he fought back.  On the ship, on the way to whatever world these things came from—not that Jade had ever been there, they always just took him up, flew off into space, and went joyriding while the scientists poked and prodded at him—he thrashed around.  Kicked one in the chest and another in the side of its massive dome.  One stood there quivering, speaking in that undecipherable hibbity-jibbity language of theirs, massive black eyes threatening to burst into flowing waves of goo.  Jade grabbed it by the throat and punched repeatedly.

Two more ran into the lab, shocked him with electric prods that looked a lot like his sister’s dildo (its discovery a tragic result of a really boring Sunday afternoon), and he went down.  When he awoke, his arms and legs had been amputated.  The scientists, now a little puffy and dented, laughed and taunted him.  Later on, after they sewed his limbs back, they amputated his penis and grafted it to his chin.

Jade did everything to block the memory of that day.  Much like the abductions, it never stopped.

But this time, early in October, mere days before his birthday, he had been getting ready for bed.  One of the Grays came to his room the same as always, its appearance telling him “Surprise!  Butt Sex!”  But not the good kind of butt sex, like he had once paid a hooker five-hundred big ones for.  Nope, it was the kind where he was on the receiving end, and no money changed hands.

Not anymore.

Jade had purchased a gun last week.  Like fluid, he saw the alien, dove for the bedside table, and yanked it out from the small drawer.  Before the creepy invader had a chance to blather in the ridiculous voice, Jade pulled the trigger.

It went down.  He was happy.

Outside the window, the ship appeared.  Jade’s skin became gooseflesh.  His scrotum shriveled into a prune.  His heart beat into overdrive.  They were coming for him.  Whether he wanted to or not, he was going.

Not anymore.

As the dildo-prod-bearing Gray security detail materialized in his bedroom, Jade laughed.  He picked up the pistol from his bed and aimed it at the intruders.  Before he fired, he realized that killing them was a bad idea.  After all, they’d just send more.

Jade put the barrel of the gun in his mouth.  With a smile and a wink at the Grays, he pulled the trigger.

 

THE END


Love it? Hate it? Thirsty for more? Let me know in the comments!

EDIT: Apparently I already posted this three years ago. I thought I took it down, but whatevs…this is an updated version, but just as free.

And as always, check out my Smashwords page for more FREE writing and lots more to come!

Doing it myself!

May 15, 2016

I’ve had about five blogs written in the past few weeks, but none of them seemed right to post, or I missed the right time frame, or some other thing that got in my way of letting you read them. That doesn’t matter, though, because it’s all pretty much the same thing. Today, however, I’ve come to a conclusion on a few issues, and feel that they need addressed.

First and foremost, this giant monkey on my back. Short stories, submitted to publications, that aren’t getting accepted. It happens, it’s happened for years, and will continue happening for a long time. It’s okay, because I expect it. What I don’t expect, though, is no response at all.

Every now and again, it happens. Sometimes the publication goes kaput, and instead of letting everyone know, they just dissipate. That’s annoying and rude, in my opinion, because sending out a mass email like many pubs have done, or simply posting to your homepage and/or Facebook feed that you’re over with is pretty quick and easy.

Sometimes, they don’t get your submission. If I email to ask, they’ll tell me they have no record of it at all.

Other times, they just kind of fart around and don’t help you. That’s what I’m talking about right now.

Two pubs in particular have been keeping me on the hook for a few weeks now, and it’s annoying. A lot of people are in the same position, so at least it isn’t anything against me personally. They haven’t updated their homepages, their Facebook feeds, nothing. Obviously, they are either kaput or have much better things to do with their time than fuck around with publishing stories about killer teddy bears and jilted android brides. (Hey, both of those sound pretty cool, actually. Anyone feel like taking a crack at them? I’ll publish it here for $5!)

I was preparing to send query emails to both of them this morning, but then I realized something very important. Why bother?

Say you’re out of a job. You’ve applied everywhere, and no one’s biting, even after a few really promising interviews. So you go out, and just go store by store, grabbing an application at every place along the street, regardless of what it is. Yes, I know it’s all done online now, but just go with it.

It’s been a month, and you haven’t heard from K-Mart, so you get ready to go over to the store and demand to speak with the manager, but as you’re going out the door, you stop. See, K-Mart has been on thin ice for years, and they keep shutting more and more stores down every year. Why obsess over a job that you probably will lose in a few months even if you do get it?

That’s how I feel. A lot of these publications are basically no better than K-Mart, and I’m a fool for worrying about them accepting my piece, even if they pay good money (they don’t, by the way).

So I’m self-publishing. I resisted for so long, but it has to happen. I write because I must, as they say, and I’ll keep doing it until I’m dead or run out of ideas. Yes, I’d love to make money from it, as it is what I went to college for. Every time I pay my student loan bill each month, I’m reminded of the fact that I’m paying all this money with little to no return investment. Unfortunately, I wasn’t privileged enough to have parents or other entities pay my college tuition for me, and loathe the fact that I chose to go into this path.

But, I’ve got a great day job (I’m in an office now, doing work I actually enjoy for once). Things could be worse, and life isn’t constantly kicking me in the nuts. I just want people to read my stories, be entertained, and walk away wanting more with a smile on their face.

So other things I’ve decided, as I said, are coming as well. Quite some time ago I was planning on posting free flash fiction on this here blog, but I backed out at the last minute. That’s in another blog, so stay tuned. Also, big news about “In the Pale Moonlight”, my novel you’ve heard me ramble on about so many times—I’m self-publishing that one, too.

I hate the daunting task in front of me that requires me to do 100% of the publicity, advertising, and fretting over things that take time away from me writing anything else, but it’s got to be done. Trust me, though, you’ll love what I have, and I’ll love you more for being a part of it.

Happiness…

August 2, 2015

…is getting an acceptance email. Thank you, Beyond Science Fiction, my new favorite publication!

My story “Escape” will appear in their upcoming September issue. How’s that for good things finally happening?

It’s an interesting story behind the story, actually.

I wrote it back in early 2010, for a contest. I put a lot of effort into it, had a lot of people look it over, and still got it rejected. That didn’t stop me, though. I worked harder, fixed it up even more, and sent it off to a few more places. A few months later, in May or June of 2010, it was accepted!

But the publication went belly up literally that week. They never even sent me an email!

After six months of waiting to hear back, I put 2 & 2 together and realized, I’d never hear from them again. Damn!

A few years passed, I started submitting again, and kept getting rejected. Guess how many publications I sent it to before it finally got accepted. Give up?

70.

Yep, seventy. I figured it was fine, just not what they were looking for.

Recently, I thought about rewriting the story…maybe I could fix it up. But nope, Beyond Science Fiction is awesome and saw it for its merits and loves it and wants to publish it.

Folks, sometimes you just need to have a little bit of patience. I’m glad I did.